When I got to the office this morning my Joy of Cooking desk calendar was displaying “Savoring Asparagus” for Monday, April 8.  The little blurb about asparagus states that “the Romans used to say, if they wanted something in a hurry, ‘Do it in less time than it takes to cook asparagus.'”  The rest of the calendar entry tells you how to properly prepare asparagus.

I do not like asparagus.  Today’s calendar page reminded me that asparagus will be in season very soon.  That means people will be putting asparagus in everything and then trying to get me to try it.  When I tell people I don’t like asparagus they usually tell me that I just haven’t had it prepared properly.  Then I try their way of preparing asparagus.  Then I tell them I liked it because I want to be polite.  Asparagus always tastes like crap.  There is no proper way to prepare asparagus because the product itself sucks.  I’ve had it prepared in every conceivable way.  It is always terrible.  There are so many tasty veggies out there.  Why do we keep wasting our time trying to make a terrible one taste good?

Despite my hatred for asparagus I’m sure I will have to endure eating it a few times again this year.  My life is hard.