I live in a land of pork.  And I am a Baconite.  In my view the pig is a “wonderful, magical animal.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfwQ4mxA3HM (this is the only video version of this Simpsons quote I could find)

Bacon comes in many forms.

Some good:

bacon wallet

Some not so good:

Unfortunately, there are a number of people who disagree with my views on bacon.  They are wrong.  Bacon is awesome.  Fact.

Let’s assume you could convince me to believe in all the tenets of vegetarianism, Judaism, or Islam.  Even assuming I agreed with every aspect of that particular way of life you would still lose me at “you can’t eat bacon anymore.”  It’s a deal breaker.  I don’t care how awesome your religion or lifestyle is.  Without bacon life has no meaning.  It’s that important!

Here are a few examples of (what I consider) blasphemy:

From The Qur’an:

He has only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and any (food) over which the name of other than Allah has been invoked (Surah 16:115).


From The Bible:

And the pig, because it divides the hoof but does not chew the cud, is unclean for you.  You shall not eat their meat, and you shall not touch their carcasses (Deut. 14:8).

If you’re a Christian you get to be exempt from this because Paul said it was cool.

From “Vegetarianism”:

Pretty blunt.

Various scholars of religion have tried to figure out why these prohibitions against pork exist.  There does not appear to be any agreed upon reason.  Although a number of these scholars have come up with some compelling reasons; such as a lack of ways to preserve meats in antiquity, fear of disease, lack of a clear category in which to place these creatures, creating cultural boundaries, etc., none are entirely satisfactory.  Mary Douglas thought she figured it out back in the 60s, but then changed her mind about 40 years later. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Douglas

Tomorrow I’m making granola and venison chili.  So prepare yourselves for some more food related posts!

In conclusion, this: