Grab your magic butter wands because tonight we’re making mashed taters!

Before we begin I just want to express how much fun I am having with this whole blogging thing.  Before I started blogging I was not feeling particularly inspired to cook anymore.  It’s very difficult to cook for one person and good ingredients are actually a bit hard to come by and rather expensive here in Iowaland (unless you are looking for corn or pork.  I have yet to pay for corn on the cob here.  They quite literally give it away at the farmer’s market).  Since I haven’t been cooking I’ve been eating a lot of things like this:

Not that I’m complaining.  Taquitos are awesome.  And yes, I do eat my taquitos off of a Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame plate.

Blogging has provided me with a much needed reason to cook again.  I love talking about food.  Sharing stories about cooking experiences on this bloggy thing has provided me with a forum for my thoughts and an outlet to talk about food.  I hope you are enjoying it as much as I am (probably not, since you don’t get to eat any of the things I cook).  Anyway, on to the food!

First, artfully arrange all the ingredients and take a picture.  I don’t know why I keep doing this.

Next, quarter or halve the potatoes so they are all roughly the same size.  This way they will all cook evenly and a little bit faster.  I prefer Yukon gold potatoes or the little redskin ones because you don’t need to peel them.  I got these at the farmer’s market.  Not the best quality, but they’ll do.  Plus, the lady who sells them to me gave me a whole bunch of free eggplant once.

Put some water in the pot.  The water level should be no more than an inch above the top of the potatoes.  Why?  No idea.

While the potatoes are sitting in water, which you should be heating, (not sure if I needed to explain that step) it is time to work on the most important step… BUTTER!!!!

I like to add some minced garlic and some dried chives (fresh ones will work to), but these are optional.

Then, add some heavy cream.  On the hierarchy of awesomeness heavy cream comes in a close second to butter.

You will want your mixture to be roughly 50/50.  Heat it up.  You want to melt and blend the butter in with the heavy cream, but you do not want to bring it to a boil.

This is how you should feel after completing this step:

Periodically stab a potato with a fork because A) stabbing things is fun, and B) it will let you know when the potatoes are done.  Once you have finished stabbing your potatoes turn off the heat and drain them.  Put the potatoes back in the pot.

Then, add salt and pepper while you smash the potatoes with your handy potato smasher (it’s also very useful for making applesauce, potentially a topic for a future cooking/blogging adventure if I can find some decent apples around here) .  Also, these are horrible pictures.  If you are fancy and have a stand mixer this would be the step when you put the potatoes in the mixer.

While you are smashing away slowly add in the awesomesauce mixture you made earlier.

Wave your magic butter wand one more time and….mashed taters!

The consistency of your potatoes depends on how creamy you like them.  Now you are ready to sculpt Devil’s Tower out of your creation.

If you made way too much and can’t eat it all in one sitting that’s okay.  The leftovers can be reheated and rehydrated with a little more awesomesauce.

OR you can turn it into mashed tater soup.  Mashed tater soup is real easy.  Put your leftover mashed taters in a food processor if you have one.  Add equal parts heavy cream and water.  Then add some roasted garlic (to make roasted garlic place a handful of whole garlic cloves in a small pot and slowly boil it in some veggie or canola oil.  grab one of the larger cloves with a pair of tongs.  If it is a bit mushy it’s done.  Drain the oil, but save it!  Garlic oil is wonderful and useful) and a little more salt and pepper.  Blend it all together and heat it up in a pot.  If you don’t have a food processor you will just have to blend everything by hand.

When you are done with your mashed tater adventures Samuel L. Jackson will try to recruit them to be in the Avengers.  THEY ARE THAT GOOD.  Obviously they will refuse.  Mashed taters don’t play well with others: